Time

Time seems to pass so incredibly slow. Waiting for the next cycle to start (but hoping it doesn't), Waiting to start the next round of medication, waiting to Ovulate, Waiting to increase meds.... the time seems to go by so slowly.

However when I look back to when we started the process it seems like yesterday. We are approaching 1 year of active infertility treatments, 17 months since we first approached the doctor. in the past year we have had many many tests, a few different medications tried, and the many cycles. I feel like we are getting closer to the finish line one way or another, however we are so far away. There is no telling the amount of time this could take.

Its really difficult to make decisions to move life forward because this is so uncertain. I have thought about going back to school to get my masters degree, which I plan on doing regardless of how this turns out. However if I get it all started and enrolled and find out we are expecting, that would throw a monkey wrench in the plan. I would want to wait until our kids are in school or something. If we move on to adoption and we are in the process of moving from this house, that would be difficult to have home visits and such. . . Our life plans can are are being held up by the uncertainty of the whole infertility thing. I feel stuck. One thing that is certain though, I do have a wonderful husband who is very supportive and will be there with anything I choose to do. Now I just have to decide. Move on with life and continue to do infertility in-spite of what may happen, or focus efforts on the most important thing in our future, our family. I feel like you can have have all the money, education, and time in the world, but if you dont have relationships or family to share it with, it is all for nothing.

The feeling of the day