This week

This last week has been so much easier.
We had a week to settle back into a routine before it is thrown off again with the move. We had an entire weekend to do almost nothing as well. It was really nice to have some time off, even though we still worked. Things have been getting better between Evan and I. I am not as irritable and Evan is starting to talk, even if its not about the baby. We are getting back to the awesome team, Best friends, and supportive partners we once were.

I have received some sympathy cards from some ladies at church. Many of the ladies shared their losses as well. It has given me some validation in the loss I feel. I know I will always have a small hole in my heart, but it is now a part of my life story. Hopefully I will help others who have to go through this. It isn't easy, but when you aren't given a choice, you have to learn how to cope.

I will always miss my baby, Love my baby, and it was a very big loss. Possibly one of the biggest losses anyone could ever experience.

One of the biggest feelings I have had is a feeling of emptiness. I used to have a baby growing inside, however now it is just me. That is probably one of the oddest feelings I have had. I didn't get to feel Mercy move but you better believe I talked to Mercy hoping to get to know my baby some day. I miss talking to Mercy and planning for Mercy's future. Now I get to Share my story, and hopefully have more children.

Right now we are focusing on the move. Getting out to the farm. That is about four weeks away. Then we will be able to plan and create a nursery at the farm. Our babies will always have the farm as their home.

Thank you for following my story. It is not even close to over. We still have the journey to parenthood ahead of us, and I know its not going to be easy. After what we have gone through we will be just fine in the end.