Good News?

Well another test result came back. It came back all good.

Is that really good news? At first glance yes, but we have had so much "good news" that they can not figure out exactly what is stopping us from conceiving. So the more "good news" I get, the more frustrated I get.

The consideration to just move on and begin the adoption process has been popping into my head more and more. Evan has considered it too, his biggest fear is the side effects of the medication. However, I dont want to look back and wonder why I didn't do more. Why I didn't try this or that. I want a family with my husband.

On a side note.
I was told once again "it will happen" by someone with the most sincere heart trying to support me. But with all the crazy hormones, the frustration all I could think was this...
Thank you, but can you guarantee it? Can you promise that so I don't have to take all this medication, so I don't have to stress about the next test, the affect it has on my job performance?

I really do know that the person who said it, said it with all the best intention, and I thank them for that from the bottom of my heart, but that is not something you can tell me with certainty, so please refrain from telling me it will happen. (unless you are a trained doctor or something :) )

I often feel guilty for the way I feel when someone tries to support me but isn't quite sure how. I don't like thinking that way, but sometimes it is a gut punch and I don't know how to respond. I am still working on how to work through those emotions.

Uncertainty is one of the most difficult things for me in life. Now I have to deal with it in a bigger way than I ever knew.