You know its funny how well infertility makes you get to know yourself. I have been doing well, waiting for the next round of tests, but yesterday morning I woke up feeling a breakdown coming on. I kept myself busy all day, driving an hour to meet my siblings, plus the drive back. I cleaned like mad and made dinner for Evan's parents. Then to bed. Today I slept in, like 10 hours! I can still feel it coming.
After trying to keep busy today as well, Evan and I went to Burger king for dinner. As we were talking, discussing everything from education, to the farm, to building a family, I couldn't much discuss it with out crying in public. He instantly recognized it and changed the subject. How wonderful a man do I have! Now He has gone to bed, now I am watching videos from celebrities such as Sheri Shepard who have gone through this. All I can do is cry. It may be the Hormone therapy, it may be the upcoming tests, or it may be stress from work. But all of this added together makes trying very very difficult.
So now I am going to go to bed, cry a little, and lay next to Evan, I know he may be asleep but lying next to him gives me a little strength.
Tomorrow I am going dress shopping with my mom and sister for my sisters wedding gown. That should get my mind off things for a little while.
Hopefully this breakdown doesn't last long. I have Christmas shopping to do! :)
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